How You View Humility Can Help You or Ruin You in Today's World.

By Demesha K Phillips 

I believe there is a wide misconception about the word "humility," as many people believe that celebrating your achievements or accomplishments or complimenting yourself means you are not humble, and this is so far from the truth. We see in the Bible that humility is not defined as self-hatred but as having an accurate view of yourself in relation to God and others.  It's putting the interests of others first, recognizing your dependence on the Lord, and submitting to His authority. However, "putting the interests of others before your own" is the context people often misunderstand. In this context, it's about charitable deeds, acts of service, and actions that please the Lord. For example, getting groceries for a family that has no food, without wanting to be praised or rewarded, or helping a child or an elderly person across a busy street. 

Another example is cooking lunch for you and your coworkers, knowing you can afford it and they can't, without expecting payback; that's humility.  It is the art of being kind and considerate toward your fellow men to please the Lord and not yourself.  People fail to recognize that humility also means having an accurate view of your strengths and limitations.  They often confuse humility with being quiet, reserved, and never celebrating a win out loud.  The problem with that is humility today often gets mistaken for low self-esteem, underselling yourself, people-pleasing, or letting others walk all over you, and that's not humility.  That's shrinking yourself, and I believe that is not what God is asking of us when he speaks on humility.

True humility is knowing there is a time to be quiet and a time to speak, a time to serve, and a time to lead.  But we live in a world where being too humble can actually hurt you.  In situations where you need to sell yourself and your capabilities, you can come across as weak and lacking confidence. Humility enables predators of all kinds to prey on you and take advantage of you because,  in real life,  that looks like staying silent in a job interview if something goes wrong,  downplaying your work to peers in hopes that they will favor you more, or hoping someone else will notice what you did instead of acknowledging to them and yourself that you did a good job.

You'll often hear many versions of this saying, "Modesty is still a trait to be admired," and I get that no one wants to be called a showoff or be referred to as prideful and boastful, but not sharing your achievements can do more harm than good.  Like everything in life, we have both good and bad; therefore, analyzing where humility is best exercised is very important.

Humility is good when: 

• You admit you don't know everything, as it fuels your growth, allowing you to remain teachable. You can ask questions, take feedback, and keep getting better.
• You allow people to relax around you, and they will perceive that you're not competing with them or trying to intimidate, impress, or deceive them. That makes you someone others want to work with and follow.
• You let go of your ego, allowing you to listen, apologize, and put others and their interest first because that's how you make real connections and collaboration happen.
• You know who you are in relation to God. You recognize and acknowledge His hand in your wins and His help in your weaknesses. You give God the praise for taking you ahead in your life journey.
• You know you're not in control of everything, as you depend on God, not on proving yourself,   allowing you to lower your stress and anxiety.

But it is also bad when: 

• You are downplaying your skills to fish for compliments. You'll say things like, "Oh, it was nothing," when it was really a lot for you to overcome and accomplish, because that's insecurity, not humility.
• You stay silent about your hard work in a job, meeting, or project because if no one knows what you did, you won't get the opportunity to improve next time or at all.
• You're saying yes to everything because you don't want to seem "arrogant," so you burn out fast and become resentful of others eventually.
• Seeing yourself as less than is becoming a habit and the norm. You think less of yourself instead of thinking of yourself less, and you refuse to take up the space God called you to take.
• You do not set boundaries because "humble people don't complain." You fear people saying, "That's not Christ-like," and you allow them to treat you like a doormat and not a person with feelings.

So, what balance true humility is having an accurate view of yourself, having high self-esteem, knowing that God is above all things, and having the courage to identify your gifts, talents, and skills and use them with others. Letting others celebrate your wins is not bragging. It's knowing when and where to show others what you can do and when to step back so others can shine as well.

People will tell you you're not humble just for celebrating your wins without knowing what sacrifice you made to accomplish them, the days and nights you had no food. Still, you pushed anyway, the prayers you prayed, the times you had to swallow your pride, and the long, grueling hours you spent working. Chances are, they wouldn't be willing to do or go through the hurdles you had to reach your goals, so be happy in your achievements. Be humble enough to know that your achievement doesn't mean anyone else can't do it too, and give God the praise he deserves for seeing you through, because true humility is not thinking less of yourself; it's thinking of yourself less.

So what about you? Where in your life do you need to practice more humility, and where do you need to stop hiding and own your gifts?

Put it in the comments below. Share a time when being humble has harmed you and when it has helped you.